Covid Protocols Killed My Parents

Three years later and I’m still struggling. In March of 2020, the nursing home where my mother lived (due to advanced MS) locked down – following state mandates. We were not allowed to see my mother. She was not one who was able to use an iPhone nor iPad so we were at the mercy of the staff when wanting to at least see her via phone. She cried and cried for hours at a time asking why we had “left her alone to die”. I begged the facility to allow me to sign a waiver and go give my mother a hug and let her know we were all just waiting for the lockdowns to end. She was despondent. She caught “Covid”, at least according to the PCR test but recovered. However, she developed sepsis which absolutely devastated her body. We were allowed to see her for one hour (the day before she passed). She had no idea who we were. She was near death. She passed away alone and I will never forgive myself for not bringing her home prior to the lockdown. 
Months later, against my advice, my father received two doses of the Moderna injection. Two days after his second shot, he was hospitalized with pneumonia and “Covid”. Once again, we were not allowed to go see him in the hospital. As his Power of Attorney, I was not allowed to advocate for him. Without my consent nor knowledge, he was given five doses of Remdesivir despite his record clearly indicating he had chronic kidney failure and a GFR of 23. After a month in the hospital and Rehab, he developed sepsis and severe side effects from the Covid shot and Remdesivir. He died at the Rehab facility the day after Father’s Day 2021. Fortunately, I was able to see him and hug him and tell him how much I loved him when I was with him on Father’s Day as nursing facilities were allowing visitors once daily for a limited amount of time. My heart is broken. My guilt continues to consume me. My anger is ever present. I pray daily for peace and healing. Thank you for listening.